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Dear Carol: Is it possible to take a relationship too slow?

My BF and I have been going out for a month, and we haven’t even held hands. I want to take it slow, but all my...
16 Comments | Add Yours

Me and my bf waited 4 months before hand holding, you can take things at your own pace.

by dragonsrox1000 on 1/9/2013 12:30:03 AM


okay so this boy who just started randomly talking to me on facebook...we only ever talked on facebook or sometimes text but when summer started he asked me out and i didnt wanna be mean and say no so i said yea ... but after a day i told him i wasnt ready and just wanted to be friends and he was ok with it but after a month or so he asked me out again! and i said yea and i asked him if he would talk to me in school when summer is over and he said "yea why wouldnt i" so i feel guilty ... but i maybe kinda wanna give it a try hes my first bf i ever had so its all new to me... so would asking him to go somewhere simple a good idea to do to get to know eachother better? hes not a guy i would normally want to date.(this all happened over summer) also im 14 years old

Hey girl,

If you don't want to go out on the date, don't keep saying yes just because you feel sorry for him! You have to be honest to yourself - and if you really don't want to go, you also need to be honest with him. But if you want to take the chance and try something new, go for it! You don't have to be his GF just yet - just go on a casual date, relax, and get to know each other better. Try something fun where there are things to do, like mini golfing, bowling, or playing a game of basketball. You could end up having a lot of fun! And if you don't "click" in a romantic way, that's ok. At least you gave it a shot and kept an open mind! Smile
Lauren C.

by MyLifexx14 on 7/12/2012 5:58:29 PM


ohkay there's this guy who makes my heart skip a beat.I'm just not sure if he feels the same way.We've kissed more than 3 times.i made up a guy so that i could make him jealous and it worked for a while but a couple of days ago I told him I didn't want to talk to him and to stay away from me. but I didn't actually mean it i just wanted to see if he would care.later on the day he didn't talk to me or even look at me.I've been crying thinking if this time we are done for good?.If you get what i'm talking about please share your thoughts.I'd appreciate it. Helen S.

by hellokittygirly on 6/12/2012 6:59:25 PM


I'm 12 and have a bf. his name is Connor we've hugged about twice and I get shy and timid around him.we talk about stuff and nonsense like that. My parents are super overly extremely unfairly strict so they don't know about him. I talk about him a lot though. I'd like to talk to him over summer break but he has no cell phone. I really like him. It's not puppy love. I want to know how to talk to him about more things. And not be shy Round him. He can be really quite though. My BFF also likes him too. Heeeeelp!

Hey girlie,

If you really like him and it's not puppy love, it'll be easy to push yourself a little and open up to him! He's already your BF, so calm down - you don't have to win him over because you're already together Smile So enjoy it! Try to hang out in groups so your parents don't get upset, call him on his house phone, email, friend each other on Facebook, see him at the pool, etc. Basically, get creative and hang out as much as you can! You'll get more relaxed around him after hanging out more - you'll figure out how to act around him and you'll realize he's a real person with lots of stuff in common with you Smile And then it'll be easy peasy!
Lauren C.

by Firefox101 on 6/7/2012 9:56:52 PM


About a month ago, I met this guy whom I'll call Jackson. He's REALLY nice to me, I even fell for him for a little while! The reason I met him was because I was crushing on his friend, whom I'll call Peter. Peter goes to my school, but, Jackson doesn't. Jackson and I have talked on the phone and texted and stuff like that, and he even likes me, and he knows I used to lie him, too! He still likes me, even tough I DON'T feel the same way anymore. Last night, Jackson and I got into a fight over who knows what. It was pretty bad, and I basically told Jackson that I wanted him out of my life for good. But, Jackson said he fell in love with me and that he really truly dose love me! I don't know what to say OR do! We're not dating or ANYTHING, and he knows that I don't like him anymore, either! What should I do? I've been ignoring Jackson's phone calls and text messages since this morning, and, I was PLANNING on just ignoring him, but I don't think that;s going to work forever.

Hey girl,

Ouch, you've been ignoring him after he's been nice to you? Even if you don't like him, you can still be friends! Let him know that you just don't feel the same way, but that you're willing to put the fight behind you. That way, he can move on but you can still hang out and text / talk on the phone!

Meghan D.

by cheerrox1111 on 6/1/2012 10:15:14 PM


One day i started texting this guy who off of our mutual friends phone. She gave him my number and we have been texting for a few weeks he seems very nice. I know that he is not a creepy stranger because my friend knows him. so now all three of us are planning on going to the movies to officially meet and hang out. the problem is i want to tell my mom that im hanging out with a guy but she has no idea that iv been texting him all this time. and im afraid that she will think that its weird. so i just need some advice on what to say to my mom to make it seem casual and okay

Hey babe,

Be casual about it and tell your mom the truth - that you met this guy through your friend and he seems cool. It's up to you how much info you give her - you could tell her that you just met through a friend and be done with it, or you can 'fess up on how you met, aka through texting. Sure, it might freak her out a little that you met through texting, but tell her she's welcome to drive you there so she can scope it out and make sure he's ok Smile
Lauren C.

by hotbeanskoolkat on 5/31/2012 11:29:05 PM


I would like to know what do you need in a relationship in order to have a long healthy relationship?
please & thank you(:

Hey girlie,

This is actually a super personal thing that is different for each person! For me, the most important thing is trust. I also love to have adventures, to laugh, and to also spend some time being "homebodies" - just watching movies, cooking, and relaxing together. You have to be open with each other but also to make sure you don't take each other for granted. (So always be nice! And if you're in a bad mood, be honest about it - then watch what you say so you don't regret it later.) Basically, the best BF for me would be a best friend that I also love Smile
Lauren C.

by obeytheeillest on 5/31/2012 8:32:20 PM


My boyfriend and I have really similar personalities. Which is mostly a good thing, except that neither one of us are good at making a decent conversation. I love talking to him, but we always get stuck not really talking about anything and it drives me crazy! What should we do?

Hey girl!

Sounds like you and your guy are a compatible couple, which is great! When you're hanging out just watching TV or not doing much of anything, that can make it hard to keep a conversation flowing. Try doing fun activities like mini golf or bowling. There's bound to be funny moments and silly competitiveness that will give you something to talk about. When you are just hanging out, share something about your day with him, whether it's a funny story, great news, or a situation where you could use his advice. Now go get talking!
Rachael A.

by chocolate_lover*13 on 5/23/2012 1:47:48 PM


Omg I'm having an absolute crisis. There are two twin guys that I know in my grade. They both just told me that they each like me (over text) literally within an hour of each other. The first one is X and the other is Y. So X told me first and he said not to tell anyone. And now Y told me, and I honestly like them both. I'm so confused and someone's going to end up hurt. They both already knew that I liked them (they don't even know that each other like me and that I like the other). THEY ARE TWIN BROTHERS. Please help me!

Hey girlie,

You're going to have to make a decision for yourself.  You need to figure out which one you like more/which one you're happiest around/which one you'd enjoy spending time with the most.  Then, do your best to let the other one down honestly and kindly.  Just let him know that you've already had feelings for someone else and you hope it won't ruin the friendship.
Jordan S.

by fireworks1071 on 5/19/2012 5:06:58 PM


Hey misstomboy1, I think you should come clean and confess to your parents. Let them know you have a boyfriend an you didn't want to lie to them anymore. Since your bf's parents know, get them to call your parents and discuss your relationship. Maybe they can convince your mom and dad to let you date. Hope this helps! Xoxo

I have a boyfriend and I really like him but I'm not allowed to date and didit behind my parents back.. My BF's parents knows. I'm only 9 but I know a lot and. I'm mature for my age. My family will freak!!!!! What should I do to tell them? Lynae P.

by misstomboy1 on 5/19/2012 3:02:21 PM

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