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My BF is out of town--should I make a move on my crush?

I like this guy, and he likes me. But my BF is out of town, and I have no way of contacting him to tell him...
30 Comments | Add Yours

so my bgf likes me and i like me he knows i like him and has asked me out several times and i dont know how to say no but say i am still interested because i am not ready for a serious relationship yet

Well, hunnie, it sounds like you just need to tell him the truth. Say exactly that - that you really like him and would eventually like to go out with him, but you just aren't ready for that yet. Explain that it isn't him at all, but that you just wanna wait a li'l while. Now, he may wait around for you or he may not, but that's a chance you'll have to take. And if he doesn't, then you'll know he wasn't the one. 
Carrie R.

by seliskey on 7/16/2012 3:58:21 PM


okay first i would say no beacuse . but then i think do u like your boyfriend does he treat you nice if you say yes to all of that then i would say no if you hate your bf then go for it girl i would not stop you frokm that you a have a right and if he get mad at you break you you do not desvere that kind of person

by kenna1023 on 7/5/2012 8:41:09 PM


This article is pretty much saying "yeah, sure, it's fine to cheat on your boyfriend while he's away; go for it!" thats just wrong, girls life. i thought you would know better.

by purplestars on 7/5/2012 12:44:10 AM


alrighty so this is really difficult for me to ask advice on but i need some serious help with handling my peers and my best friend. 


I can only imagine how
tough things are for you. Because we wish you only the best, it’s extremely
important that you speak to a trusted adult, such as a family member, doctor,
guidance counselor, teacher, etc.
, Your Blog Patrol Babes


Also, for additional help,
check out:

Kate G.

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by dancer2998 on 7/2/2012 5:22:53 PM


So I went on a trip to my grandparents house a few weeks ago and my Moms friend since college was there and she brought her kids and her nephew who is about my age. So her nephew, tyler, and I hung out at this park we all went to and played tennis and had piggy back races with this other family my mom knew but anyway right before we left the park tyler asked me for my phone # and i gave it to him but i don't get my phone for another month and of corse i was stupid enough NOT to give him my home phone # and he lives in arizona and I live in illinois but he comes up to illinois every time theres a school break and I'm usually down state where he is on break and i like him and he likes me ( I know this cause my friend emily asked him if he would ask me out and he said he thought i would say no) but i just don't know how to get in contact with him and he has a Facebook but I don't (my mom won't let me) so yeah PLEASE HELP


Hey girlie!  This guy sounds great, and if your'e sure you want a long distance relationship, ask your mom for his home phone number.  I'm sure she could get it from her friend, and you could call him.  If not, get your bestie to friend him on Facebook or have her message him your home phone number.  That way you can talk on the phone with him until you get your phone!  Good luck! 

Kate G.

by liamsgirl on 7/2/2012 1:40:07 PM


I don't think this is right...don't make a move on this guy until you sort stuff out with your boyfriend. Otherwise, you'll be the "cheater."Do you really wanna be the bad guy? You might even lose both guys, if the new guy discovers you already have a boyfriend. Wait until your bf is home and then break up with him. Tell the new guy your situation, he'll understand.

by Izzy99 on 7/1/2012 12:07:19 PM


Help me! My crush asked me out. I told him I'd have to think about it. The next day he told me it was all fake. The next day he asked me out again! Should I trust him?

Hey girl!

My guess is that he was feeling embarrassed that you sort of rejected him, so he wanted to pretend it wasn't real. Unless you have some major reasons to be hesitant about going out with him, I think you should say yes! If you keep saying you need to think about it or keep rejecting him, he might stop asking.
Rachael A.

by gobigorange on 6/29/2012 2:12:43 PM


mod mod mod
ok so me and my bf broke up 1 month ago. about a week after we broke up he started texing me. i still like him so txted him back. he sent me this forward and it said to tell him a secrets. i said i wanted to get back together and he said idk. i dint ask again until the next week, he said no and iwas really bummed. now he txting me and he said "on the forward i thought u wouldve said you wanted to kiss and cuddle. i asked him why and said he wanted to, i was confused so i asked "u wanna kiss and cuddle,but u dont wanna get back tigether?" he said no if we do get back together we better kiss and cuddle. i said is that the only reason u would wanna get back together and he said yah. so i dint txt back and now hes dating this other girl named carrli but hes still txting me! im dont know what to do help!!

Hey girl,

Ugh, this guy sounds like he doesn't know what he wants! Or he sounds like he does know what he wants, but what he wants is NOT fair to you - he basically only wants the physical stuff, without the commitment of actually being in a relationship. It's your choice whether you want to keep texting and involving him in your life. Personally, I would want some space. I probably would take longer to respond to his texts, and I wouldn't be as overly friendly as you might have been before. Just answer with the bare minimum - or don't answer at all. You don't owe him anything because you're not dating anymore, so it's up to you. But I can promise you that having less contact with him will make you feel better, not worse. He's stringing you along, making you like him still, and making you think that getting back together is a possibility. But it's not healthy! You broke up for a reason and he already told you he didn't really want to get back together, so that's your answer. I know it's tough to process at first, but think about how much happier you'll be with someone who actually WANTS to be in a relationship - someone you like, who likes you back, who respects you and wants you to be happy. That's the person you deserve Smile
Lauren C.

by haileygab on 6/28/2012 7:17:57 PM


I've been dating this totally AMAZING guy for 4 years now. Last week, we had *the* talk. He said he's ready whenever I am, which at the time, I wasn't. Now that I've had some time to think about it, I know I'm ready. How do I tell him that? And also, what type of birth control works the best?

Hey girl,

Kudos to you for being 100% open and honest with your BF about this. Since it seems like your ideas about sex changed pretty fast from last week to now, think hard about this decision and get all the info you can. Check out this article for the best resources around the web: http://www.girlslife.com/post/2009/05/06/Teen-Pregnancy.aspx (And especially these page, to make you think carefully about being ready for this next step and to answer your questions about BC: http://www.StayTeen.org/waiting // http://www.StayTeen.org/birth-control-101) I know you've been dating for four years so you've really gotten to know your BF, gotten to trust him, and have seen that he respects you enough not to pressure you into anything. That's GREAT! But this is something you "do over" again, so do your research and make sure you're 100% ready before you do anything more <3
Lauren C.

by merlbookworm on 6/28/2012 5:28:06 PM


Oh Yes! If your so called bf never calls you, it probably means he is cheating or not even interested anymore. If you really like him then go for it. Summer is the time for romance and now you can spend it with your crush and your new bf.

by luckykel on 6/28/2012 4:16:05 PM


My boyfriend and I made out for the first time yesterday and while it was really nice I have two questions:
1. He went in with tongue right away. He's really great with his tongue and it was nice but how do I make sure there's more... buildup? Like closed mouth making out?
2. What should I do with my lips when we do use tongue? We kinda just had our mouths open and did tongue and I think usually your supposed to move your mouths/lips, right?

Hey girl!  The thing about kissing is that everyone has their own way to do it and different ways work for different people.  Maybe ask your bf to slow it down a little and tell him that you like closed mouth kissing too!  As for your other question, just do what feels right for you and what you're comfortable with! xxoo 
Maggie P.

by sunshinelollypop on 6/28/2012 3:02:14 PM


Ok so I have this really good friend but she lives in another state from me so we dont see each other a lot but we see each other once a year for 2 weeks over 4th of July and it's always like no time has passed even though we dont really keep in touch as much during the year shes coming tonight and I found out the two of us are meeting up with this other girl in the morning Im not as good friends with the other girl and I always feel like a third wheel when we all hang out together but we have to hang out a lot because my friends grandma sets it up I also found out that my really good friend has been keeping in touch with the other girl all year and I'm afraid when she comes I'll be immediately forgot on.


Hey girl!  Don't worry about your friend forgetting you, if you've made it this long, I'm sure she's just as excited to see you!  Instead of feeling like a third wheel, enjoy the time you get with her tonight and make sure she knows you've missed her.  When your friend leaves, try and make a little bit more of an effort to stay in touch.  Make up a silly code when she's here this summer and write letters in it all year, or have a necklace you send back and forth to one another.  That will give you your own thing that always reminds her of you.  Don't worry about her friendship with the other girl, it's your friendship with her that matters, and that you can control.  Good luck and have fun!  xoxo 

Kate G.

by myipodrox16 on 6/28/2012 12:01:08 PM


ok so i have three things i need to ask about
1) there is a guy at my school who i have sorta liked over the years but never enough to like ask him out or anything.we both have read the harry potter series and he calls me his "harry potter buddy". the last few weeks of school (which was over a month ago) he kinda flirted with me alot, and he sighned my yearbook "have a great summer harry potter buddy" then he sighned his name, when my friend (who has a huge crush on him) only got his name. But he flirts with lots of girls so i dont know if he likes me or not, and he also flirted with me a a pool party a week aftr school. The problem is i dont have his number or email and i wont see him for all summer, so i dont know what to do!(also i dont have a face book or twitter)
2)i have to have my room cleaned up in two days and it is really messy so do you have any tips?
3)how can i earn my parents trust back, because i get caught up in so many lies?
sorry for long message


Hey girlie!  This guy sounds pretty awesome, but if he flirts with a lot of girls, maybe you should let it simmer over the summer and reconnect when you're back at school.  Also, if your friend has a huge crush on him, you wouldn't want to hurt her by moving in on the guy she likes!  He sounds like a nice guy, and if you don't have a big crush on him, why not let him be a guy friend?  Those are super fun to have around!  As for your room, start by throwing things out that you don't use or wear.  As your parents if they can take you somewhere to donate old clothes and toys you have hanging around, and if they can't in the next few days, ask where you can put the stuff so it isn't taking over your life!  After that, organize by importance: stuff you use a lot should be put somewhere easy to reach and stuff you use less should be put farther away.  Now onto your parents: first off, stop lying to your 'rents!  They love you and want what's best for you, so tell them what's going on.  Once you're open with them, they'll start to trust you more.  Good luck! xoxo 

Kate G.

by radiolovergirl on 6/28/2012 11:45:59 AM


so my best friend has liked this guy for a month now, and i just met him. i kinda like him too, but i'm not sure if as a friend or more. i told her but she hasn't responded yet(text) because i felt guilty for not telling her. i told her that if i did end up liking him, i'd ignore it cause it's not fair for her or him if i interfere(he likes her back). normally this wouldn't be a problem, but i'd really like to have him as a good guy friend. b i feel like if i did he might end up liking me too because me and my best friend are practically the same person. should i still try and be friends with him?


Hey girlie!  Slow down and take a breath, you just met this guy and your bestie has already laid claim to him, so put all ideas of mutual attraction out of your mind. Next, focus on your relationship with your girl- she could be upset that you're moving in on her territory, even if you promised to ignore the situation, she might still be bummed that you're jumping on it so fast.  You should wait a little bit and see how it goes- if he and your friend start dating, you'll spend time with him as a friend, so you can see how it goes from there.  If it turns out you do like him, don't seek out alone time with him- he's your bud's crush for now, and she's more important than he is. Good luck! xoxo  

Kate G.

by karategirl78 on 6/28/2012 10:50:06 AM


I've had a crush on my BGF for about 3 or 4 months now, but I know I want to keep our friendship bcuz its amazing. But its still hard whenever he likes another girl! He has dated a lot of girls since we became friends and 3 girls like him even tho they're two years older than him!!! And lately he seems so distant and weird whenever we tall or tx. I really miss his friendship and just wish for once that he'd pay attention to me!! What should I do??


Hey girlie!  It stinks to have a friend who doesn't give you enough attention: even more so when he's being chased by all sorts of girls!  Let your BGF know you're missing his friendship: nothing more.  I know it might be tempting to jump into telling him about your crush, but he's already juggling more girls than any guy can handle.  By letting him know you want to hang as friends, you're setting yourself apart from the other girls.  You already know don't want to admit your crushin' and lose his friendship, so stay chill for now and be his bud.  Just let him know you aren't interested in hearing about all of his other girls!  Good luck! xoxo

Kate G.

by soccer.bear1 on 6/28/2012 7:30:56 AM


P.S. If any other CL chicas wanna answer my MOD question (if it even gets answered Tong) then please do! I need all the advice I can get! So i!f you do plz answer on my profile. Thanks soooo much! Laughing

by xXMissBehavedXx on 6/27/2012 8:35:00 PM


OMG! I love Dear Carol but seriously? Your boyfriend might not be the best (not calling, etc) but that doesn't mean you're single! I don't think Carol interpreted this post correctly, because going out with your crush while you're STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP with your boyfriend is CHEATING. When your boyfriend gets back, break up with him. THEN feel free to do whatever you want. Please don't make a move on the new guy UNTIL you break up with your boyfriend! Not okay!

by fireworks1071 on 6/27/2012 8:26:51 PM


Ok so I'm really sad and mad right now....my BFF likes like a different guy every few months and every guy she likes winds up liking her back and asking her out. It's not fair...her family is also super rich and she gets everything she wants. I know I'm her best friend and I should be happy for her but...I'm not. I'm sick of this, being around her makes me feel awful about myself. And she didn't even tell me this latest crush of hers asked her out until last night and appriently they've been dating all summer. Am I right to be insulted that she didn't tell me?
Also it's just not fair. I've liked the same guy for the longest time and I swear I'm not ugly or "uncool" or anything but NO GUY has ever asked me out...forget my crush, like NOBODY. Guys have liked me but none have asked me out..and I'm 16. What do I do? I want a bf so much.

Hey babe,

I used to be in the exact same situation, so I know how hard it is.  But, when it comes down to it, it sounds like she may be more harmful as a friend than she is helpful.  Ask yourself if she makes you insecure more often or happy more often.  If it's the former, then I think you should maybe distance yourself from her.

This is something you might have to deal with on your own, because at the core, it's not just her fault, you must have some layer of insecurity that is fueling this.  So just keep that in mind.
Jordan S.

by maggie183 on 6/27/2012 5:30:38 PM


I Have a boyfriend and i love him, but lately i've been thinking about this other guy that loves me soo much and he's been chasing me for almost more than a year now, at first i didnt like that guy ,, but idk why am i thinking a lot about him , yesterday i saw an old chat between him , my boyfriend is an amazing person , idk what to do ! Its not like i wanna cheat or anything , but i feel like i'm falling for the other guy, my friend told me to call him and see how hes doing, but my boyfriend would be CRUSHED if he knew, Idk what to do i cry every night ! i really need advice XoxO

Hey girl, you have two options. First, you can break up with your bf and get to know this other guy as more than a friend. If you're thinkin' about the other guy more than your bf, that might be a sign that your feelings for your bf are fading. And if that's the case, you just have to be honest with your bf. But option two is that you can chat with this other guy and just be friends with him. Your bf should be okay with you having guy friends, and if you wanna get to know this other guy, you can. But as soon as you start thinking of him as more than friends, you gotta tell your bf because otherwise, it's not fair. So decide what you want this other guy to be - a friend, or a bf. 
Carrie R.

by rolapa on 6/27/2012 4:43:53 PM


I need some help! so today, since my mom is a teacher, I went with her to her school after my exam and I went outside for a while and some gr 8's were out there (i'm gr 9) &a girl from my soccer team was there&there was this guy who used to go to my old school in like gr 2 but moved& now hes like super cute & tall & I got talking to him & it was totally un-awkward and I think I might like him...and it was really nice because he was genuinely interested in me, and my friend from soccer says she thinks he likes me, and she asked him and he didn't reply (?!) but he is younger, what are your thoughts on liking/possibly-in-the-future dating a younger guy? I just have a really happy feeling inside of me & I can't stop thinking about him! also I won't see him for like the whole summer until he comes to high school, what if he forgets about me and finds someone else? Any tips and advice would be great! thanks soosososo much!

Hey babe, one grade of difference isn't much. It's not usually the guy that's younger, but that's not unheard of. If he's mature enough, then why not date him? And for this summer, you have a few options. First, you can see if your friend could arrange a group hangout so you can see him and chat him up. Second, you could get your friend to give him your number and see if you guys can connect that way. Or third, you can just wait it out and see how things go this fall. He's probably not gonna go gettin' a gf the summer before high school. Most people like to wait 'til after they start, just in case there's a new face that snags their attention. So if you don't wanna force something over the summer, you should still be safe. 
Carrie R.

by honeycakes on 6/27/2012 2:34:39 PM


I totally agree with HungerGamesRox99! Wait until he gets back! If you do make a move on your crush now, you'll be cheating on your BF. It won't hurt to wait cuz if your crush really likes you, he'll wait.

by Princess Keziyah on 6/27/2012 12:14:42 PM


don't use technology to break up with him. face-to-face is good...my BF broke up with me half over the internet and half through someone else:_(

by myfatsquirrel on 6/27/2012 11:55:24 AM


Mod Mod Mod
So during the school year I use to text my crush every now and then; But now that it is summer I haven't texted him because I think he might think it's "weird" that I just randomly texted him out of the blue. I have no idea whether or not to text him!
Oh and 1 more question-
Sometimes I would text him from my friends phone and my phone at the same time, but he would only reply to my text. My friend said that he stares at me a lot; and I have caught him staring at me. We didn't have any classes together so we never really got a chance to talk. Do you think he likes me?
Thanks<3 Smile

Hey girl,

You can always just text him and ask how his summer is going! There's no harm in that, especially if you used to text him before. I don't know for sure if this guy likes you, but it's much easier to tell if he does if you spend time with him in person rather than just texting. Try to get together with some friends and hang out with him and see how he acts around you! 
Kelly G.

by basketballover5 on 6/27/2012 11:45:52 AM


You probably shouldnt tweet him. If you text, call or FB him but don't know if he got the message, wait until you see him to do it face-to-face. You both need closure and to make sure you 2 are over.

by scamp24 on 6/27/2012 10:31:13 AM


So I'm changing schools and in my year book one of guy friends wrote:
have a great time in your new school! Lets keep contact! ;)
So I can't figure out if that is flirty or just friendly...
What do you think??

Hey babe,

If he had that winky face, it sounds flirty to me! If the guy has been flirting with you already, I'd assume that his comment was flirty as well! Smile 
Kelly G.

by imblonde5678 on 6/27/2012 10:17:40 AM


Yeah, I would dump your BF (face-to-face of course!) first, or FB or tweet, text, call him if ur desperate (B/c seriously,unless he's living in remote Antarctica there IS some way to contact him, can always ask around and look him up) and THEN make ur move... cause officially, ur still 2gether right now

by Brenna04 on 6/27/2012 10:03:55 AM


Seriously!!! Wait until your BF gets back then make a move!! You don't want people thinking that you're cheating in your BF do you?!?!?!?!?!?!

by HungerGamesRox99 on 6/27/2012 7:50:03 AM


When I first read the title, "My BF is out of town...Should I make my move on my crush?" I was like, What kind of person would even ask that?!
Thank god I read the whole article!

Btw. First comment.(;

by goldfish123 on 6/27/2012 3:21:42 AM


hi! Its summer and I'm super glad... But I miss my crush!! Just the last week of school and we were talking/flirting a lot. Sadly, I didn't see him at all the last day so I didn't get his number. What should I do?? I have his email, but that was for a school project and I only sent him one email, which was my part of the report. And event that was a few months ago... should I send him an email?? Or would that seem stalker ish?? I know it all sounds crazy, I just kinda wonder how's he's doing.......

Hey girl,

Are you friends with someone who is close to him? Maybe you can suggest a group hangout and the mutual friend can invite him along. If not, go ahead and send him an email. I would wait a while, though, so it does seem as awkward. Once you've been out of school for a while, shoot him an email and ask how his summer is going! Good luck Smile 
Kelly G.

by eemmais on 6/27/2012 2:19:48 AM

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