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Dear Carol

*This* is how to form a better bond with your dad

Dear Carol,
I have problems getting along with my dad. My mom and I talk about everything, but my dad is another story. I know that when the dryer beeps, I need to go and get my clothes out. He doesn't need to yell at me to go do it. He could use a normal voice. Also last night I was playing my music too loud and he yelled. He bottles everything up until he explodes. My mom on the other hand will tell me if a little thing is bothering her. I understand that there probably isn't anything you can do to help me, but it has helped to tell someone about this, and I don’t want to look back at my childhood and think that I had a distant dad.
—Dad-Daughter Problems

Dear Dad-Daughter Problems,
Your situation is common, but I’m sorry your dad is short-tempered. What strikes me is that you are not saying, "My dad is a jerk;" you are saying, "I wish we got along better." Some dads need gentle reminders to be gentle, so when he does yell, don’t yell back. As you dash to the dryer, just say, “Okay, Dad, I’m on it.” He may be stressed about things that have nothing to do with you (not that this is an excuse). For now, keep your music down, do your chores and try surprising him with a compliment ("I like your shirt") or friendly question ("How was your day?"). Your goal is to break the pattern of yelling. Even watching a movie or ballgame together and sharing popcorn can help bring harmony to the homefront. Ask your mom for more ideas.

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by Carol Weston | 6/16/2018
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