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How to deal when you don't like your BFF's friend

 

Imagine heading to your BFF’s locker to gossip about that girl you can’t stand from your English class. You get there and you see your BFF chatting and laughing with… that girl you can’t stand from your English class.

How do you confront your BFF about her hanging with someone you’ve never really liked? You don’t want her to get mad at you, but you also don’t want her to fade away and become even better friends with someone you don’t care for. So what do you do?

1. Don't control your friendship
This is probably the most important thing. You wouldn’t want your BFF hovering over your shoulder and telling you who to hang with and who not to hang with, would you? It’s better to just accept the fact that your BFF has other friends besides just you. Even if they like someone you don’t, it’s not going to be the end of the world.

2. Talk to your friend
You really should be honest with your friend about how you feel, especially if her other friend is actually rude. Maybe your friend sees a different side of her that you’re not familiar with. Try bringing it up in conversation by (nicely!) asking how the two of them became friends—then actually hear her out!

3. Give her a chance
Do you not like this person because she’s mean to you? Or do you just not know her that well and you're assuming things? This makes a huge difference, because if you don’t like her and don’t have a particular reason for not liking her, you might just be acting a little too judgy. If your friend ever asks you to hang out—and you know she’ll be there too—try to give her the benefit of the doubt and get to know her a little better. You may be surprised by just how cool she can really be.

4. Be the bigger person
If your BFF’s new friend is a bully, it’s better to just rise above it and not retaliate. Hopefully your BFF will be able to see how petty she can be—and either confront her or move on. But don’t try to stoop down to a level where you’re the one gossiping and talking behind anyone's back, because that’ll make you look like the bad guy in the situation.

Does your friend hang around people you don’t really like? How would you deal with a situation like this?

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by Danielle Bryant | 3/5/2018
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