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48 Comments | Add Yours

My Friend is Bugging Me



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I have this one friend; let's call him Joe. He’s amazingly sweet and funny. Then I have this other friend, let's call her Lisa. Lisa has recently started hanging out with Joe and me during lunch, and now she's getting really annoying. She'll ask Joe "Would You Rather" questions, like would he rather go out with Lisa or me. Sometimes Joe says me, and then Lisa will say loudly, "Joe likes you!" even though he's just a friend.

 

The questions make me really uncomfortable, and I'm sure Joe feels the same way. I wish I could get her to stop, but she doesn't take me seriously. How can I seriously—but nicely, tell her to stop with the dating questions?

Hey girl, I totally feel your pain. It's so not cool when friends give you a hard time about a crush, especially when you don’t have a crush to begin with. It's pretty embarrassing for you and pretty rude on your friend's part. Unfortunately, she probably doesn't even know she's bothering you, so you're going to have to let her know her behavior is not cool.

Trading places

Ask Lisa if you can talk to her in private and then say, "I know you probably don't mean anything by it, but I get really embarrassed when you ask Joe those dating questions." If that's not enough to get her to stop, also ask her, "How would you like that if I did that to you?" Chances are, she probably wouldn't like it very much. Teasing–even if it's meant in a fun way–isn't very fun when the shoe is on the other foot.

Damage control

Boys can sometimes be a little clueless, so it's entirely possible Joe doesn't even realize what's going on. Instead of having a serious discussion, try making a joke out of it to lighten up the situation. You could say, "Wow, I wish Lisa would start asking some new questions." Or, "I'm really sorry she keeps bothering you, I'm trying to get her to stop." This way he'll see you’re cool and calm (not to mention funny). If you make a big deal out of it and turn into a drama queen, you'll send him running for the hills in no time!

Let's be friends

There's an old saying, "What can't we all just get along?" Hopefully, after you've talked to Lisa and Joe separately, there will be no more awkward questions and everyone can eat lunch in peace. But if Lisa keeps asking annoying questions, then the best thing you and Joe can do is ignore her. If she's not getting the reaction she wants, most likely she'll lose interest in her little game. Remember, you have control over your emotions, not her. Best of luck, hon!

Lots of love,
L'Oreal
 
FRIENDS GOT YOU FRANTIC? CLICK HERE to submit your own problem to be answered on Girl Talk.    
 

BY L'OREAL THOMPSON ON 10/29/2010 7:00:00 AM

POSTED IN bad friend

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MODMODMODMODMODMODMODMOD! I have known my Bff for all my life, and we've always been Bff's. I just started my freshman year in high school and things have changed. Right when school started, her mom passed away from cancer, and she was sad for a while. Then her older sister took the roll as the "mom" and she has been acting differently ever since. I know being mean is her way of grieving, but its to the point that it makes me not want to hang out with her. In front of my friends she argues with me a lot, and makes me look stupid. It's almost as if she's embarrassed by me, and she only hangs with me because she feels she needs to. But when we are alone, she transforms into her old self, and is just as goofy as I am. It's starting to tear our friendship apart, and I don't know what to do. I just miss the old, goffy, and sweet friend. Please help!

 

Hey girl,

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's loss. This is probably the most difficult thing she's ever experienced, and she probably needs your support and understanding now more than ever. It's okay to tell her she's hurting your feelings and to ask why she's behaving that way, but understand what she's going through and don't be too harsh. She probably doesn't even realize she's acting differently! Make sure she knows that you'll be there for her during this rough time, and that you will help her any way you can.

Meghan D.

report

by bubblepeep on 12/17/2011 2:07:24 AM

 
 

MODMODMODMODMODMOD
I have a best friend. She and this guy really really like each other. My BFF always talks to me about him, and I wish she would just be quiet about him! I am just SO tired of hearing about him! I don't want to tell her to be quiet about it. Sometimes I think she might be desperate for a boyfriend because even though she and her "BF" are "Dating" she like likes all these other guys and it is so annoying. Sometimes I get jealous because she has a BF and I don't. What should I do?




Hey girl, just distance yourself. If she tries to bring the subject up, ignore it and try to change it to something else. Make it clear that while you're happy for her, you really don't want to hear her go on and on about it.

xoxo
Alyssa B.

report

by westiekid13 on 5/5/2011 6:58:20 PM

 
 

Oh girl drama.... dont worry though because you will def get through it! my advice is just try to ignore it or confront her in a nice manner. good luck!

report

by ILOVEGREASERS!<3 on 1/23/2011 6:40:49 PM

 
 

ModModMod,
I am almost 12, but i have friends that act like 5. They still play with dolls. It's all they want to do? Can you give me some tips to get them to stop? I never want to hang out with them because of. Plus, they are very immature. Thanks!




Hey girl, you could suggest doing another activity. If they still want to play with dolls and won't compromise, it may be time to get involved in a club or activity and find some mature friends to contrast them with. You can't make anyone grow up, but you can find people who are more grown up.

xoxo 
Alyssa B.

report

by Sounder on 1/18/2011 10:09:53 PM

 
 

girl i toltaully understand i have this friend named devan and a friend name lacie both really good friends but lacie keeps bugging devan to go out with me and i feel embaressed i have a bf

report

by vamprilla on 1/12/2011 9:42:19 PM

 
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