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ADVICE | DEAR CAROL

My best friend died

 
My best friend died. Her brother was high and crashed as he was driving her to my house from her job. She lapsed in and out of a coma for a week and then died. I feel sad and guilty.

 

Dear In Mourning,
 
What a terrible tragedy. I am so sorry for you and her whole family. It’s no wonder you feel awful in a million ways. But please don’t feel guilty – no doubt her brother feels guilty enough. (He never should have driven under the influence, yet I feel for him, too – his horror will last a lifetime). You may want to tell her grieving parents how much you loved her or write a letter about what she meant to you. You could also make a scrapbook about your friendship and give them a color copy. Time doesn’t heal, but it helps. Though you’ll never forget your friend, little by little your grief will lift.
 

SERIOUS STUFF? For serious issues, don’t wait. Visit our HELP! page now.


For more on Carol Weston, visit her website: carolweston.com or like her Facebook page.

 

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BY CAROL WESTON ON 11/11/2010 11:10:00 AM

POSTED IN , ,

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58 Comments | Add Yours
SORT: OLDEST FIRST | NEWEST FIRST
 

What sadniss come to my advice page and you can ask any question.

by annabellelovesliam on 1/12/2013 1:43:16 AM

 
 

IM CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!1

by merrymerry22 on 5/11/2012 8:01:07 PM

 
 

That is SO sad!!!!!!!

by musicismylife198 on 3/17/2012 10:45:27 AM

 
 

Im crying as i read this story i will pray for your life!ANND DONT FEEL GUILTY

by emorocket12 on 1/26/2012 11:22:58 AM

 
 

So sad.

Please visit my Advice Queen page! I really like to give advice to peeps Smile just post a question and i will answer it on your profile as soon as i see it.

by basketballcutie11 on 12/23/2011 6:03:58 PM

 
 

im sooo sorry but do not feel guilty!! you were probably a wonderful friend to her and im sure she appreciates you!!

by daniiiXOXO on 3/21/2011 11:29:26 AM

 
 

MOD MOD MOD
yesterday i almost got ran over and last night i keep having short dreams of me getin ran over i feel kinda sad that i almost did and i keep thinking wat would of happen if i did it scares me now thx

 

Hey Girlie, dying in a dream never equates to dying in real life it means there is  positive change that is going to happen in your life so maybe your just dreaming about a rebirth of a more creative and artsy you! 

Paige T.

by free2b on 2/27/2011 10:45:42 PM

 
 

oh my thats sad :-( dont feel guilty-its not ur fault!! i am so sorry for you

by baconlvr711 on 2/5/2011 5:55:50 PM

 
 

Aww i feel like im gonna cry. Frown
If my bff died i would be so sad i would probally cry about it every day. Im keeping you and her in my prayers. I feel so bad for you!

by swimbreezy on 1/31/2011 9:06:16 PM

 
 

Aww i feel like im gonna cry. Frown
If my bff died i would be so sad i would probally cry about it every day. Im keeping you and her in my prayers. I feel so bad for you!

by swimbreezy on 1/31/2011 9:04:56 PM

 
 

i almost just cried wow im so sorry Frown( for your bff i k now if mine died i woldnt talk for a year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by ravenjade4000 on 1/19/2011 10:55:14 PM

 
 

Im so sorry, like bunnyluvr499 said, listen to "Things are Gonna Get Better" by David Archuleta

by GirlieGurl on 1/18/2011 4:11:26 PM

 
 

I AM SOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR UR LOSS! its not ur fault! i remember the school i went to had a special needs kindergartener die but i was sooooo sad then i thought of how he is growing up in a much better place! i still look forward to seeing him! u r in my prayers!

by k.sista2 on 1/8/2011 2:27:33 PM

 
 

I'm so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by freddymylove on 12/31/2010 12:16:21 PM

 
 

ohmigosh. my heart just sank. omg. i'm so sorry. i know you feel horrible, but it's not you're fault. and don't think of you're friend "dead", because she is alive in her own perfect world, looking down on you, pertecting you. girly, i'm so so so sorry for you're loss. you're in my prayers.
-Sarah.

by b723sarah on 12/31/2010 10:00:23 AM

 
 

That is so sad! None of My family members or friends have died but i know it would be terrible. Hang in there!

by DigsRocks on 12/30/2010 2:17:16 PM

 
 

that is one of the saddest things i have ever heard. I'm so sorry.

by rach<3kampkohut on 12/21/2010 9:05:44 PM

 
 

ive been through that, i know how you feel. you think of ways you could have stopped it, you think its ur fault, the grief always stays with you, just be happy you werent their when they did actually die, i was and that memory will haunt me for the rest of my (if u were there when she died i apolagize), i just want you to know that your not the alone out their, i was only 10 when i had that death in my life

by hulagirl410 on 12/5/2010 5:06:07 PM

 
 

that is so sad but just remember that she is in a better place right now and she will watch over you and she will wait till you guys meet again it is not your fault but i really turly am sorry about your friendFrown

by Sofia=] on 12/1/2010 11:24:27 PM

 
 

I am so sorry about your friend. I know you must feel HORRIBLE! I have had some bad bullying experiences, but it is nothing compared to what happened to you! My point is, while I was going through it, it really helped me to talk it out with a therapist (yes, it was that bad!). I know you're thinking 'How in the world does this compare?", but I would try it with a friend, parent, sibling, or even therapist. Good Luck, God bless you, and I know you're best friend watches over you every day and night.
P.S.I will pray for you

by kitkatt23 on 11/27/2010 6:55:58 PM

 
 

aww thats soo sad!!!! im sooo sorry Frown

by daddysgurl on 11/24/2010 2:44:46 PM

 
 

Omigosh please don't feel guilty! No matter how you put it, you were in no way the reason she passed away. I know you probably feel really bad, but it's not your fault!

by purpleluver716 on 11/22/2010 9:55:45 PM

 
 

I'm sooo sorry
You shouldn't feel guilty
No matter where he went and he was under the influence of that and they could have crashed
It's not your fault

by sassygirlh20b on 11/22/2010 11:17:25 AM

 
 

I bet your brother got in tons of trouble

by ukachinkwocha on 11/19/2010 8:45:51 PM

 
 

im so so sorry for you. you shouldnt feel guilty because there was nothing you could do. her family and you are in my prayers.

by spunkygirl03 on 11/18/2010 8:15:41 PM

 
 

I AM SO SORRY

by irule on 11/18/2010 5:43:01 PM

 
 

xoxoxoxo

by wednesday1408 on 11/16/2010 8:54:17 PM

 
 

Its not your fault girl don't feel guilty her brother was under the influence and whether he was driving her home to the mall or to YOUR house he could have just as easily crashed. its not your fault.

by wednesday1408 on 11/16/2010 8:51:52 PM

 
 

im sooo srry! i hope it gets better =P

by txterluver77! on 11/15/2010 8:59:21 PM

 
 

i am so sorry for you! I agree that u shouldn't feel guilty, because it wasn't ur fault.

by 844acw on 11/15/2010 5:40:22 PM

 
 

MOD !MOD ! MOD ! MOd
I know when you kiss , you do what you feel is comfortable , but what do you think is the most romantic way to start or finish a kiss? THANKS




Kisses are romantic depending on the situation. Things such as kissing in the rain is going to be much more romantic than a normal kiss. Just go with the flow and do what feels right. Depending on who it is and where you are how romantic it is will change. xoxo kerra 

Kerra S.

by emmiecandy on 11/14/2010 12:02:08 AM

 
 

I am so sorry to hear about that. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose my best friend. Things will get betterSmile

by lalu18 on 11/13/2010 3:06:29 PM

 
 

I am sorry to disagree but four years ago my aunt died in a crash were they hit black ice and spun into oncoming traffic and i still cant get over it.

by raindropt15 on 11/13/2010 1:31:25 AM

 
 

i cant tell you how sorry i am for your loss. i can only imagine the struggles you're going through. but dont feel guilty for this, none of this happened because of you. i will be praying for you, your family, and your friends family to have the strength to get through this obstacle. i know you will be alright. God bless Smile

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
Matthew 5:4

by trixr4kids on 11/12/2010 12:19:05 AM

 
 

OMG, sadFrown

by katester on 11/11/2010 10:25:10 PM

 
 

im so soryy!! i know how hard it would be if i lost my best friend...i talk to her on the phone every night

by swim_chick101 on 11/11/2010 9:48:25 PM

 
 

i am so sorry! Frown dont feel bad. things happen for a reason. im sure you bf is looking down on you right now.

by KiraRose on 11/11/2010 8:40:07 PM

 
 

OMG I think...I just bawled my eyes out...I feel for you pumpkin...hang in there! You can always talk to me if you need help...I know this stuff. Hope you feel better!

by Smileygirl86 on 11/11/2010 8:15:57 PM

 
 

I am so sorry I can never imagine losing someone so close but don't feel guilty her brother shouldn't have been high

by Isael1999 on 11/11/2010 7:58:19 PM

 
 

I'm so sorry, but don't feel guilty, you could do nothing to stop it. I can't imagine losing someone so close.
Stay strong

by lipsmackers11 on 11/11/2010 7:14:10 PM

 
 

Don't feel guilty a similar thing happened to my BFF her grandma fell asleep at the wheel on the way home from Vacation they were rushing back for my party. I felt the exact way but slowly by slowly I was able to not be deppresed. Be strong for both of us!

by JuiceyMango on 11/11/2010 6:51:17 PM

 
 

I'm so sorry for you, I can't image how I would feel if my bestie passed. But just remember, Things are Gonna Get Better. ;)

Things Are Gonna Get Better By David Archuleta

Check it out!!!

by bunnyluvr499 on 11/11/2010 5:57:18 PM

 
 

im so sorry i no how i wud feel if my bff was gone and i dont know how i would live all u gotta do is power through it will get better

by volleygirl768 on 11/11/2010 5:56:56 PM

 
 

im so sorry my friends' sister died a few weeks ago and everyone i've heard r commenting on her facebook

by luvshorty5 on 11/11/2010 5:52:45 PM

 
 

im so sorry. i am so sad jut reading this, but im sure that i can not even know what u r going through.

by lootiegal on 11/11/2010 5:47:40 PM

 
 

hey, im so sorry to hear about your friend. everything is going to get better with time. dont feel guilty about it at all, because its not your fault. -_-
my prayers go out to you and your friends family.
*3 hugs 7 <3 and 22 wishes* from j4zm09

by j4zm09 on 11/11/2010 5:18:39 PM

 
 

I'm very sorry for what happened. She was just with the wrong person at the wrong time. It's okay because God had a plan for her, and they have been it. He took her out of this Awful world for a reason. I'm sorry for what's happened. Don't beat yourself up, either. Smile. Because she's watching over you.

by MusicNForeva on 11/11/2010 4:58:31 PM

 
 

Stay strong, girl.

by minnesotaohsnapp on 11/11/2010 4:34:43 PM

 
 

oh my god sweetheart that has to be tough. I can understand why you feel guilty but you really have no reason too

by harpgirl on 11/11/2010 3:49:15 PM

 
 

i am so so so terribly sorry for you :/

by rainaelise on 11/11/2010 3:42:22 PM

 
 

im sorry girl:'( that is a hard thing to deal with. my cousin ( who was like an older sister) died when i was in third grade at age 15.... you will never forget about her. she will always be in your heart <3. if you ever need to vent ur feelings comment on my profile and i will DEFINATELY respond back! sending my luv!

pigletluver

by Pigletluver on 11/11/2010 3:39:55 PM

 
 

i am sooooooooooooooo sorry for you, you and your friend are in my thoughts!!!!

by platinumchick2 on 11/11/2010 3:30:41 PM

 
 

I'm so sorry. I've been through the same thing. When I was ten years old, my friend got killed on her boat by a drunk boat driver. At the time, though it probably didn't have too much of an impact on me because I was only ten, but now I'm thirteen and if that happened again to me right now, I would never get over it. Once again, I'm sorry girlie, but time heals and just try to understand that things happen for a reason. Perhaps, God felt it was her time. And try to be happy, knowing she's in a better place, in heaven and that one day you'll unite with her again.

by lilgirlkt on 11/11/2010 1:54:24 PM

 
 

I am SO sorry about the loss of your friend. Please do not feel guilty in any way. It is not your fault and your friend probably would not want you beating yourself up. I am very sorry death is such an awful thing. -hugs and hugs-

by Beluga-swim on 11/11/2010 1:36:02 PM

 
 

*hugs* that's so sad. =[

by dogobsessedprincess on 11/11/2010 12:30:57 PM

 
 

I feel so sorry for you!

by katiekakes8 on 11/11/2010 11:56:00 AM

 
 

That's tough...

by i_luv_devin on 11/11/2010 11:55:54 AM

 
 

that is one of the sadest things i have ever heard

by AvaAva23 on 11/11/2010 11:36:13 AM

 
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