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GUYS | DEAR CAROL

My older BF is moving way too fast...


 
My BF is 16, and I am 12. Usually when we hang out, he kisses me before he leaves, but the other day, we were in my room and he turned out the lights and got very close and made out with me, and, well, you know. Do you think he’ll try to make me not a virgin?


Dear Too Young,
That is a huge age difference! I suggest you break up before things get even more complicated. Tell him, “I’ve realized I’m not ready for such a serious relationship…” Or take the easy way out and blame it on your parents. Tell him they won’t let you see him anymore. If you do stay with him, avoid being alone in the dark and explain very clearly that you are nowhere near ready for sex. Don’t be defensive or apologetic. Be comfortably definite. When girls have sex at your age, it is usually coerced, not consensual. If anyone “makes” another person have sex, that’s not intimacy – it’s rape. Moreover, though laws vary from state to state, having sex with someone your age could be considered statutory rape.
 
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BY CAROL WESTON ON 10/21/2011 7:00:00 AM

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Hey girl, unfortunately that guilt isn't going to fade. What he and you did was wrong. You need to talk to him about this because honestly, it isn't fair to his GF if he stays in a relationship with her and cheated on her that extremely. You also need to know what his history is too — who else has he done it with? It's important for your own health. Have that conversation with him and know eventually his girlfriend has the right and deserves to know (from him, no less). Not to say you and him should be together, but he definitely shouldn't be with someone he'd cheat with like that. He broke her trust, and it's only fair to her that she learns the truth sooner rather than later so she can move on to someone who won't do something like that. If they decide to stay together, respect that and know you may not be able to stay friends with him or hang out alone like you used to.

xoxo
Alyssa B.

by cheerfulcheer on 11/19/2012 8:15:11 PM

 
 

You all shouldnt judge a 12 or 13 year old guy could do the same thing as a 16 year old guy

by bunnybaby on 6/14/2012 12:34:03 PM

 
 

Ok, that is a big age difference. Are you sure that you want to continue? Since he is trying to go to fast for you, tell him, "I don't think I'm ready for this." Or something of the sort. You might want to wait a little while, and make sure he understands that you are to young for that. If he is a good bf, he will understand.

by HarryStyles<3 on 5/19/2012 3:12:52 PM

 
 



MOD MOD MOD
If I'm in 8th grade, 13, is that too young to like a Junior, 16?

 

Hey girl! While there is nothing wrong with liking someone who is older than you, there are a few important things to keep in mind. You'll have different groups of friends and will likely have different interests right now. In the long run, age doesn't matter that much, but it can be difficult when he is several years older than you and in high school. He has experienced things that you'll want to experience for yourself, like homecoming, making new friends, etc. If it's only a crush, then it doesn't matter at all, just be aware that you could be setting yourself up for heartache. It's likely that he would prefer a girl his age and that you have very different interests--just keep that in mind! 


Colleen K.

by Lexydoodles on 4/4/2012 1:37:11 PM

 
 

Hi, I just read your story.. I'm twelve too and some of my friends have done the same thing.. when I was 10 I went out with a 13 year old for a couple of days.. and we moved to fast. I knew it was wrong and I just told him its not right..
First of all, just tell him you think you're going too fast. If you don't speak now, things can get so muddled up. Its fr your safety and wellbeing. Try fnding a guy your age. Stand up for yourself and your rights. You do not need to do anything he says so don't be pressured to do it. If he does something uncomfortable to u, tell an adult immediately. This is illegal if he forces you to do something bad/wrong (u know what I'm talking about) because this needs to be reported..
Stay safe and good luck with this vguy babe.. you are young and free and innocent and don't need all this extra stress on your shoulders...

by mimi_girl12 on 1/5/2012 4:55:51 PM

 
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