I'm bi, but all my friends are anti-gay

All of my friends are really anti-gay. I'm not. This may come from the fact that I'm bisexual (I haven't told my friends about this yet) or because I simply respect that lifestyle, but whatever the reason, I am as pro-gay as you can be.

Recently, my best guy friend told me he was gay. I totally support him, but now my friends are flinging questions at me asking why I'm hanging out with him so much. If I tell them we're just friends, they won't believe me. But I'm worried that if I tell the truth (we go to support groups together and we're really close because of our sexualities) they'll disown me. I love my friends with all my heart, but how can I respect their beliefs without making them disown me?

I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now with the emotions of having to keep your feelings bottled up inside, and scared to be open and honest with your BFFs. It's no fun pretending to be someone you're not. Sounds like you're totally afraid of how your besties will react.

Let it out!

It's not healthy keeping such strong emotions bottled up inside. If you're scared to speak the words out loud, why not write each of your besties an individual note or card telling them how much you value them as a pal. Then, say that you hope they'll accept you for who you really are. Also, ask the peeps in your support group for advice on how to come out. I'm sure that lots of them had difficulty saying it to their friends and fam, and would have tons of suggestions for how to deal with these issues. It will be really helpful to hear how people who are going through the same issues as you dealt with it. They can hopefully help ease your worries about your friends, and make you realize that their reactions will not be as bad as you think they will be.

You're still YOU

One of my best friends came out last year and it didn't change one thing about our friendship. He's still the exact same person. Not one of our friends looked at him differently. In fact, everyone was just happy he was finally being open and honest with himself and all of his loved ones. If these people are really your true friends, and they love and respect you as much as you do them, then when you tell them that you are bisexual it shouldn't change anything about your friendship! If it does, it's sad to say but you may not even want to waste your time hangin' out with these girlies anyway.

If anyone treats you any differently just because of your sexuality, they’re immature and not worth your time. You are an amazing girl, and you shouldn't have to bottle up your feelings and try to be someone you're not. Be open and honest with your friends and yourself. You deserve to be happy. Be who you are, and I promise people will respect you for it!

-Jackie E.

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9/30/2009 7:00:00 AM