"Dear Carol, my best friend won't open up to me"
I have an awesome best friend, but she won't open up. I open up to her, and she's always there for me. Recently, she told me one of the things that was bothering her, and when I asked about it, she said she doesn't need advice. I want to be there for her, but she is not letting me.
- Closed-Off Friend
Dear Closed-Off Friend,
Conversations don't have to be fifty-fifty. Friends open up at their own pace—and different people have different standards when it comes to comfort and privacy. No doubt that she likes your stories and that you are there for her, but she may not want to bare all—and it's good if you can respect that. That said, relationships grow deeper when people confide and counsel and console, so it's fine to keep asking gentle questions. Say, "I don't want to pry, but your advice helps me, and if you tell me more, maybe I can help you. Or maybe if you want to talk, I can just listen." It goes without saying that if she does open up, don't share her secrets with a soul.
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