She said what? How to deal when your bestie talks behind your back
Finding out that people are talking behind your back can really make ya feel awfull. But when you discover it’s your BFF doing all the blabbing, things can go from bad to worse. When your best gal pal is doing you dirty, it’s no a surprise you’re gonna feel extremely hurt. If you just can’t let it go without saying something (which in most cases, you shouldn’t), here are some pointers on how to gain control of the situation, stat.
Consider the sources
Who exactly did you hear this from? Did her jealous ex-BF spill the beans that she’s been saying some not-so-nice things? Was it her arch enemy just looking to stir the pot? While your blood may be boiling from what you heard, you have to give your BFF some credit. Do your research before getting too upset.
Whatever you do, don’t backfire
It may be easy to slip into the same bad behavior when you’re feeling vulnerable. But we promise you, talking behind her back will only make matters worse. Plus, you don’t wanna stoop down to the same level. This is a time when you need to be the bigger person and fight the urge to retaliate.
Time and location is key for confronting your friend. Steer clear of bringing it up during school or cheer practice, and make sure you’re alone. Crowds of surrounding people will only bring up more drama and emotions (this is between you and her...not your entire lunch table). Avoid texting and phone calls and try to initiate the conversation face-to-face. Make sure you stay calm and avoid getting overly emotional, because this might make her defensive. Be mature and tell her what you heard, why it hurt you, and ask why she said it.
Depending on the conversation you had, it’s time to decide whether you want to remain friends. Here are a few things to think about: Was this a one-time deal? Was what she said really that harmful? Did she seem truly sorry? If this has happened many times before, and you keep hearing the same apology, she’s probably more of a frenemy than a best friend (and you don’t need that in your life). It’s up to you whether your friendship is worth it at this point, and only you can really decide what feels right. Go with your gut, girl.
Have you ever caught your BFF talking smack? Share in the comments below.