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Everything you need to know about self-love languages

You may have heard of love languages, a term coined by marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman to describe the different ways to give and receive love in romantic relationships.

But before you can fully understand how to give love to and receive love from a romantic partner, it's important that you have the tools to practice self-love.

That's where self-love languages come in! Learning your self-love language will allow you to practice self-love and give back to your body in the most meaningful way possible. 

There are five self-love languages:

Quality time 

Acts of service

Physical touch

Words of affirmation

Receiving gifts

Quality time

What it is: If quality time is your self-love language, you feel most at peace enjoying your own company, focusing on your hobbies and doing the things you love most. 

Apply it to your self-love life:

+ Block out 30 minutes to one hour on your calendar every day to focus on yourself and yourself only. Spend it watching your fave chick flick on Netflix or doing anything else you heart.

+ Pick up a book! We have some rad reading recommendations to help you stay productive *and* healthy. 

+ *Brush* off all the negativity in your life by painting a picture. It's a great way to let your emotions out and find peace by yourself.

+ Meditate, meditate, meditate. It's just the relaxer you deserve—and studies have shown that meditating will bring you sensational and *medita-tional* physical, mental and emotional health benefits. 

Acts of service

What it is: People who identify with acts of service are the Virgos of self-love: they're most content when doing things for themselves to make life easier later on, meaning that they thrive off of practicality and organization. 

Apply it to your self-love life:

+ Organize your space in a way that suits you! If it's too much to get done in one day, try to focus on a new area of your living space every day or every week.

+ Practice spring cleaning year-round. It may sound boring, but a clean room = a more productive you!  

+ Prepare delicious meals for yourself when you have time. The time and effort that you put into cooking will pay off... and your stomach will thank you later!

+ Scrap your post-it notes and invest in a year-round notebook or planner. Then, write down a list of all the little things you can do to make life easier. Little by little, you'll check off the items and check out how much happier you are.

Physical touch 

What it is: If physical touch is your self-love language, you're happiest when you're giving back to your body and satisfying your physical well-being. 

Apply it to your self-love life:

+ If you receive love through physical touch, *shower* yourself with self-love by taking long showers. It's one of the best ways to build being kind to your body into your daily routine! 

+ With physical touch as your self-love language, physical exercise is a must, whether it be by taking a walk through the park or hitting up your local gym! 

+ Pamper yourself with a monthly spa-ctacular spa day complete with a boujee bubble bath (with bath bombs ofc), face masks, a mani-pedi and hair masks.

+ Take a few minutes every day to center yourself through stretching. You can do your own stretches at home, find a guided stretching video on YouTube or attend a yoga class!

Words of affirmation

What it is: With words of affirmation as your love language, you're all about using loving language and encouraging expressions to build yourself up. 

Apply it to your self-love life:

+ Sometimes self-care also means self-confidence! Journaling affirmations every morning is the perfect way to release your words and build yourself up, especially if words of affirmation are what inspire you.

+ Music has the power to change the way you care for yourself! Listen to empowering anthems that make you feel like an absolute rockstar. 

+ Decorate your living space with words that will inspire you! Make yourself a vision board and adorn it with your fave quotes and phrases. 

+ Improve your attitude and work on your gratitude by keeping a gratitude jar. Fill it with reasons why you're grateful (aka "gratitude notes") every day. When you're feeling down, pull some notes from the jar to remind yourself what you have to be thankful for. 

Receiving gifts 

What it is: Receiving gifts is all about giving back to yourself with the little things, from buying yourself a cookie after school one day to saving up for a relaxing vaycay. 

Apply it to your self-love life:

+ Give yourself a weekly budget to spend on little gifts for yourself. Make sure that you're buying things you actually need!

+ Try to build your shopping cart according to your hobbies and interests. Love working out? Go get yourself that workout set you've been eyeing.  

+ Invest in self-care supplies. From face wash to body lotion, buy things that will inspire you to give back to your body.

Good news: If your self-love language is gifts, you have the *perfect* excuse to DIY your heart out. Finishing little projects will make your gift-loving heart explode with excitement! 

What's your self-love language? Let us know on Twitter and Insta @girlslifemag!

All GIFs via GIPHY


by Tori Feinstein | 8/21/2021