How do I know if he's the one?
I have an amazing boyfriend. We’ve been together about a year, and we complement each other nicely. His family likes me, and mine likes him, he cares about and respects me, and I feel the same way about him. I can talk to him about anything, and I know he sees me in his future, just as I see him in mine. My problem is: I’m only 16. And, not to be vain, but I’m attractive.
I’m starting to wonder if maybe I should be looking around, dating other people, and not committing myself to him so early. I know many high school sweethearts who get married end up divorcing, and I want to make sure I’m making the right decision. He is thinking about going abroad on a program with me this summer, but, to be honest, I’m starting to wonder if maybe I love him only as a best friend and not as a boyfriend. Where’s the line? I don’t want to lose him forever…but I’m not sure I want to be with him forever either.
Dear Is he the one?,
You don’t have to decide yet about forever. One difference between guy friends and boyfriends is chemistry. (Another is commitment.) If you no longer feel like cuddling up with your boyfriend, pay attention to this sign. Can you tell him you feel ambivalent about his going abroad with you because you think a little independence might be healthy for you both? My guess is that you wrote me because you need some breathing room to figure things out. And that’s legit. Clear the air with an honest heart-to-heart. By the way, some exes do indeed manage to become lifelong friends – it doesn’t always have to be marriage or nothing.
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