What to do if you and your BFF are crushing on the same guy

When you’re crushing on someone, every girl that flirts with him can sometimes feel like the enemy. And when that girl is your BFF… Whoa, tough stuff. There is no easy way to handle you and your BFF liking the same guy. We get how hard it is when you don’t want to hurt your friend but you also don’t want to give up on your crush. Every situation is different, but if you find yourself in this position, here are a few tips that will help.

Be upfront
Whether your friend liked him first or not, it's important to be upfront and honest about how you feel. Explain your point of view. She might not like what she’s hearing, and that is understandable, but don’t assume her initial reaction indicates exactly how she feels. The news will probably come as a shock to her so give her a second to process.

Remind her about cooties
Once upon a time when boys had cooties, the two of you vowed to never go near them again unless the other was there to hold your hand. Although you both now know better than to believe in cooties, remind her that your friendship came before this boy and is more important to you than he will ever be.

Ask her how she feels about it
This means asking her how she feels about the fact that you both like him. Whatever she says, respect her feelings and assume she doesn’t want to upset you just as much as you don’t want to upset her.

Keep it to yourself
If you are the kind of girl to chat about your crush with lots of people, that's a-OK, but make sure you're only talking about yourself and not about your BFF. Your BFF might not want to tell the world that she has a crush or that you both have the same crush, so you need to make sure to respect her privacy.

Weigh the consequences
How much does this boy mean to you? Is he worth jeopardizing your friendship with BFF? If this crush is new, think about what it would take to stop pursuing him and if that's something you would consider doing. If you don’t see this crush fading anytime soon, that’s fine, but you need to recognize it might mean trouble up ahead for your friendship.

Have you and your BFF ever crushed on the same guy? Let us know how you handled it in the comments below.

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by Erin Farrugia | 5/17/2017
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