Quit comparing yourself to your friends with these tips


Your bestie just scored more than the game-winning goal at the varsity soccer game—she also snagged a date with that dreamy dude from chem class. Oh and she was nominated for homecoming princess earlier this week. While you're genuinely happy for her, you can't help but feel more than a little bit envious. She's got it all and you feel like you've got, well, nothing. Chin up, girl. Here's how to take a step back and quit the comparisons:

You're your own person.
You can't compare apples to oranges, so why do you think you can compare yourself to your friend? You are two totally different gals, each uniquely awesome in your own way. Your bud might be a star Spanish student while you were just chosen for art honor society. You both have something to offer, so focus on *your* personal strengths.

Be grateful for what you do have.
So you don't have your friend's naturally blonde hair or her penchant for public speaking. But you do have a lot of other things to be thankful for in your life, whether it's a spot on the student government board or a fam who loves and supports you. Take some time every day to reflect and appreciate all you have going for you. It might be a good time to start a gratitude journal to keep you focused.

Remember, no one is perfect.
It's unfair to be envious of what you think of as your bud's "perfect" life because even she has issues and problems to deal with. In fact, she might be jealous of you! We see each other's highlights but not always the struggles so be careful before you judge her too harshly. While she may be dating an adorable athlete, she could be dealing with a difficult divorce between her parents.  

Turn your competitive side inward.
Maybe your comparisons have less to do with your BFF and more to do with your drive to be the best. If that's the case, why not use that competitive streak to your advantage? Instead of competing with your friend, compete with yourself. Strive to be better than you were last week, last month, last year, etc. Now that's the kind of rivalry we can support! 

Don't let it ruin your relationship.
Jealousy and constant comparison can destroy a friendship pretty quickly. If you feel like you can't stop hating on your pal for all the good things in her life, be honest with her about the problem. Take responsibility for your feelings (she hasn't done anything wrong!) and apologize if you've let your envy affect how you treat her. If she's a good friend, she'll listen and try her best to help you see how amazing you are.

How do you stop comparing yourself to your pals? Let us know in the comments!


by Amanda Tarlton | 3/20/2018
jump to comments