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How to confront jealousy in time for gratitude season

As the leaves begin to fall and the weather cools down, it's the perfect time to consider *everything* you're grateful for. Autumn is all about new beginnings—which makes it the perfect time to let go of grudges, take stock of your surroundings and reach out to form meaningful connections. 

But what if you're not feeling so grateful this year? Whether it's getting cut from the basketball team, falling behind in math class or watching your secret crush ask another girl to homecoming, it's easy to let envy drag you down. If you're feeling stuck in a jealousy rut, don't worry—it's totally normal, and we're here to help you realize that being *green with envy* is just a mindset. 

Next time your thankful thoughts are interrupted by "Ugh, why me?!" feelings, try one of these strategies... 

Take the focus away from others.

Sometimes, a simple sentence turnaround can help transform envious feelings into their more authentic form. When you think, "It's not fair that my BFF is so much smarter than me," turn that thought around: "I'm feeling insecure about school right now." Changing you-statements (She's so much better) into I-statements (I'm feeling down) will help to validate your actual emotions and help you form an honest dialogue with yourself. 

Remember: It's okay to feel down and insecure at times! What matters is how you process those emotions. Being open with yourself will help you grow as a person. 

Set up an action plan. 

Once you've adjusted your attitude, consider what you can do to handle the feelings you're experiencing. Wondering why you're behind in school when all your friends seem to be soaring? Find a local tutor or meet with your teacher for study tips. Feeling like *everyone* has a crush and you're single as ever? Use your extra time to pursue a hobby you've always wanted to try. As you put your effort and energy into an exciting action plan, your envious feelings will begin to melt away—replaced with genuine enthusiasm and living in the moment.

Keep a gratitude journal.

Grab an empty notebook, cover it in adorable stickers and start writing down everything that makes you appreciate *your* unique self and the life you're living. I love my natural hair todayI'm an amazing friend. I always listen to other people's problems. I am lucky to have my younger brothers. Even though I'm not the best soccer player, I keep trying to improve. As the days go by, you'll have created a list of why you're unbeatable, unstoppable and *so* authentically you. Look at it whenever you need to pump yourself up—because you're amazing! 

Send love into the world—and accept it back. 

Feeling envious of your BFF's fab fashion sense? Turn it into a compliment: "OMG, your outfit is goals. Can we go shopping together over the holidays?" Then, remind yourself of everything *you* have to offer: "I'll tutor you in writing in exchange for your personal styling tips!" Remind yourself that you have so much love to give, and open your heart to receiving kindness from everyone around you! 

How do you handle jealousy? Comment below!


by Katherine Hammer | 10/21/2019