Tough Stuff

GIRL TALK: Dearly Departed Dad

My dad just recently died of brain cancer. It's pretty tough considering the fact that I was such a daddy's little girl.  He always used to brag about what I was doing or how tall I was getting.  I miss him so, so much and it's getting harder now with high school and guys being guys.  I don't know really what to do with myself anymore.  I would never do anything dramatic, but I have really been thinking about losing weight and all kinds of stuff I know I shouldn't be doing.  I know it's got to do with dealing with my dad and trying to keep my mom up on her feet.  I also have to keep my grandma and grandpa up. He was just so young (38) and it just doesn't seem fair. I just don't know what to do...HELP!

Oh sweetie! I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Losing anyone you care about is hard, but losing a parent is exceptionally devastating. I won’t even try to say anything like, “I understand how you feel” or “He’s in a better place,” because it won’t make you feel any better, I’m sure. Honestly, there’s not much anyone could say that would instantly make you feel better.
It’s going to take time. Not necessarily to heal, because you’re always going to miss him (and that’s ok!), but rather to cope; to relearn your life without him. It’s ok to be sad, but think about how he’d want you to live your life. He would want you to be happy! So as you remember him, also move on with your life in a way you know he’d be so proud of you for. Don’t cry because he’s not there with you; smile because you know how much he loved you and how happy it would make him to see you grow up and be happy.
It’s hard to cope with such a loss, but surround yourself with friends and family. You’ll need a support system of people who will be there for you when you feel you need him the most. When you wish he was there to give you advice about boys or whatever in life, just imagine what he would say. Imagine his voice. Though it’s not quite as good as the real thing, he’ll still always there with you that way.
<3 Jessie M.

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6/17/2008 6:02:00 PM
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