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Your *official* guide to flirting over text

Some might think that successfully flirting over text is an art form—it kind of is—but it’s not a difficult skill to learn. If anything, flirting is a natural human tendency, and it’s *so* fun. 

Flirting face-to-face can be hard, but flirting over text can be harder. We’re living in a time when we can’t go to our friend’s party, that football game on Friday night or meet a new bae at a dance. However, this means that we can spend our time texting without the hassle—*everyone* is doing it.

If you need the deets to reach out to your new crush or make bae’s heart flutter, we have the *ultimate* guide to flirting over text!


Don't be afraid to text first

People *love* attention, and people love it when others text them first (especially if they like them back!). Don’t be afraid to double-text, either. Some people get distracted easily or take much needed breaks from their screens. Send one perfect text to…

Set the tone

If you’re thinking of them, send a flirty text that reminds you of them—and show them. Send things like, “this reminded me of you.” Send those cute photos and videos, flirty TikToks and songs with all the vibes. Your main goal is to let them know you’re thinking about them—make them feel special. 

Ask genuine questions

Show your interest in your new crush. Ask for Netflix recommendations to show that you value their opinion (and ask if they’ll join). Ask questions about their hobbies and deepest passions. Find something to relate to and what *really* makes their heart sing. If you can connect with it, then you might make their heart skip a beat too. 

Respond when it feels right

There’s no need to play games (especially rn). We know you have time on your hands, but you don’t have to wait days to respond. Respond right away or a few hours later! Our biggest insider tip is to follow their lead. If the convo is getting pretty flirty, follow the vibes and keep texting them! 

Find common ground

Whether it’s school, politics, sports or travels, you and your crush are bound to have something in common. By engaging them in conversations about similar interests and hobbies, you’ll be sure to catch their attention and leave them wanting more. Don’t be afraid to make a joke or be sarcastic—if anything gets misinterpreted, just clarify it. You’ll probably be able to laugh about it later!

Give compliments

Who doesn't love receiving compliments? Win your crush’s affections by letting them know what you appreciate most about them. Whether you’re most attracted to their music taste, haircut or personality, let them know you’re thinking of them by complimenting the traits you find special.

Use emojis to your advantage

It is much easier to read people’s emotions when you can see their face or hear their voice—which makes texting *so* complicated. Use expressive Emojis to your advantage by inserting them to set the tone of the conversation. Need some inspiration? Blushing faces (☺️😊), heart faces (😍😘😻), goofy faces (🤪😜😋), winking faces (😉😏) and hearts (💘💓💕) should do the trick.

Don't overthink it

Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. It is human nature to want people to like you, so by taking the initiative to engage with your crush, you are more likely to capture their attention. If you are both already reciprocating communication, chances are that they enjoy talking to you, too! 

Once you’ve established your intentions over text, don’t be afraid to seal the deal by asking them to hang out virtually or IRL. Asking your crush to FaceTime or hang out after the next football game (post-pandemic, of course) is a great way to take your flirtationship to the next level.

Need advice about your crush or new bae? Let us know on IG @girlslifemag!

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by Claire Hutto and Allie Lijewski | 3/12/2021
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