I'm in desperate need of advice right now. O.K., here's my
problem, I've had a crush on this boy (I'll call him Cam) for about a
year and a half. He's really nice and cute and the best thing I liked
about him is that he isn't obsessed about being popular or cool like
most of the other boys are. Cam is in my circle of friends, and he sits
with us at lunch and hangs out with us almost every day. He's one of my
best guy friends. But on the bus today (he rides my bus), this popular
girl said "You're not even popular, Cam" and he said "You know what?
I'm going to sit with you guys at lunch tomorrow. I'm sick of sitting
with these...people" and I could tell he was going to say something
else but wouldn't since I was right there.
I feel betrayed and hurt. Cam is acting like a hypocrite.
Usually he avoids the popular crowd whenever he can because he hates
how they act so arrogant all the time, but now he'll probably become
one of them. I feel like I'm losing him, and it's even worse because I
have a crush on him. I don't even know why he would do this. I know for
a fact Cam likes hanging out with me and the rest of the people at our
table. Sometimes kids make fun of him for sitting with us because the
majority of our crowd is girls, so maybe that's why? I need help. What
do I do now? Give him the silent treatment? Talk to him? Fight with
him? I don't want him to think I'm controlling his life, but it's just
that he's never acted like this before. Should I get over him? If so,
HOW? I've fallen pretty hard for this guy. Please help soon!
I know this is a tough sitch. It always is when you're on the
outside looking in...but what you probably realize is that being on the
outside is better. Cam maybe does too, but you're going to have to
explain your feelings to him. The good news is that he realizes how
arrogant that crowd is. Give him examples of how he is acting just the
same, but in a nice way. You don't want to hurt him as he hurt you. You
should give that as one of the examples by the way. If he is a true
friend (and hopefully maybe more) he will take note of the fact that he
has hurt someone who he cares about. Some people jump, no matter how
high, at the opportunity to be popular. I hope that Cam realizes
through your talk with him and examples that he should stay true to
himself. If things don't work out, I wouldn't start a fight with him,
that will only make it worse. And, if he does decide that being in the
"In Crowd" isn't for him, it will make things uncomfortable between you
two, when he realizes that hanging with his real friends is where he
I have a problem that I need some advice for. There is
this guy (wow I bet u never hear girls needing advice about guys lol),
I'll call him Derek, who I really like. There are 2 problems with my
situation. 1 is that he is really popular and a lot of people like him.
The other problem is that there is this other guy, I'll call him Sam,
who likes me. The only problem is, I don't even know him!!! He's never
even talked to me! So, Derek was like "I know someone who likes you!"
And at first I thought he was kidding because he and his friends always
tease my friend about people liking her. But then I was like "Well, if
you know someone who likes me, then who is it?" And he said someone who
I didn't even know and he's like "He's really nice!" So I know Derek
doesn't like me cause it seems like he wants me to go out with Sam.
But, I don't want to go out with Sam because I don't even know him! So,
can someone help me with Derek and how I can show him I like him? And
im sort of shy so there is no way I will tell him I like him and I
don't want a friend to tell him either. Thanks!!! (Wow I didn't know I
could type so much lol!)
love ya lots!
Hey Victoria,Holy cannoli that’s a mouthful! We get questions
about guys all the time…they are like the Great Sphinx or Stonehenge
(completely mysteriously and confusing). Sounds like you’re in a little
bit of a pickle. First of all, popular or unpopular, all that matters
is that this guy will treat you fabulously, so don’t even consider that
an issue. If you are worried about your own social standing, anyone who
writes you off because you aren’t “cool enough” is a dummy and not
worth your time. Seriously! It’s always hard getting to know people,
especially when you’re shy. I myself am a bit of a wallflower and what
helped me was small get togethers. Ask your parents if you could have a
few people over for a movie or a bonfire. Its easier to talk to the guy
you dig if you’re in a social setting with other people instead of a
one-on-one scenario, which will definitely make you freeze up.
Relationships don’t happen over night (as wonderful as that would be),
so just work on getting to know each other. I’m glad that you aren’t
even considering having a friend tell him how you feel, its up to you
to voice your thoughts. If you feel a love connection, make a move. If
he doesn’t feel the same way, you will be embarrassed for .5 seconds,
but at least you’ll have no regrets, which is what he’ll be having when
you move on to another more amazing guy and leave him in the dust.
As for Sam, it’s always awkward when you find out someone likes
you and you think to yourself “Huh? Sam who? How do we know each
other?” If you don’t know him, don’t feel bad that you don’t like him.
There is no doubt in my mind that you’re a stellar girl, but if Sam
doesn’t know that about you, then what basis is there for a
relationship? It wouldn’t hurt to get to know him. He may be a diamond
in the rough and you may find that he’s more your style than Derek, or
he could end up being a killer pal to just hang with. Either way you
will benefit. Keep your head up! I am twenty-one and still don’t know
the ins and outs of the male species. I can definitely tell you though
that it’s worth it to go out on a limb and try.
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