6 red flags to look out for in a friend

Friends are universally considered one of the best parts of life: They're there for you when you're down, they make you laugh and they give great advice. But sometimes, friends can be less-than-stellar. Occasionally, red flags might appear—just like in romantic relationships. (Red flags are questionable or small actions that make you feel uncomfortable or even unsafe.) If you see a friend who does any of these things, it might be time to look deeper into her actions.

She puts you down

Maybe it's a comment about your makeup that rubbed you the wrong way or a "joke" that only she finds funny. Maybe she just throws you under the bus to look better in front of her crush. Even if she phrases it as a "joke" or is "trying to be honest," she still puts you down. If she doesn't apologize for her comment or refuses to acknowledge your feelings, it may be time to move on.

She excludes you

If she talks about secrets only she and a few people can know or mentions parties you aren't invited to in front of you (and then posts pictures on her Insta), she's probably excluding you. Even if she doesn't do it on purpose, she's still leaving you behind—and that can really hurt. There's a time and place to hang out with your besties, but if she never even offers (or lies about her plans for the weekend)? Take note. 

She doesn't respect your boundaries

You've told her time and time again: Don't copy my math homework. You've explained why it makes you uncomfortable, you've asked firmly and politely and you've repeated your request a bazillion times. And yet... she does it anyway. Boundaries are key to any healthy relationship. If she ignores your boundaries despite you repeating them, she doesn't respect you or your needs. 

She makes no effort

She forgets your birthday, hasn't sent you a text in *forever* and always seems to take advantage of the fact that you'll be her friend no matter what. If any of these apply to your friend, that's a pretty big red flag. While someone might be absent due to an extremely busy schedule or rough patch in their life, it's okay to be hurt or disappointed by their lack of effort in your friendship.

She is rude to the people around you

If your friend is rude to the waiter, throws things around at stores, makes fun of people in the hallways or just generally treats people around you with a lack of respect and kindness, chances are they aren't the best friend. You shouldn't have to constantly apologize on behalf of your friend. If you find yourself cringing at your friends' "jokes," they aren't the friend for you.

She is always trying to one-up you

It's great to have a friend who pushes you to new heights...but that is not this friend. If you got six hours of sleep tonight, she got two. If you're proud of your 89 in math, she cuts in with, "I'm so sad, I only got a 94." It's fun to have a friendly competition, but if your friend compares everything you do, it's not healthy for either of you.

Need some advice about friends? Check out the articles below!
❤️ How to make friends with similar interests
❤️ How to be a better friend
❤️ How to deal when your friends have busy schedules 

Tell us a red friend flag you avoid @girlslifemag on Twitter!

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by Charlotte Ury | 1/13/2023