Tough Stuff

How to ask your strict parents for more freedom

Dealing with strict parents can be frustrating, especially if your friends are allowed to stay out later than you are. It's natural to want independence as you get older, but actually talking to your parents about it may seem scary. We're here to help you strengthen your relationship with your parents and pave the way for future communication.

Gain their trust

Before you ask your parents for permission to go on that class trip, ask yourself these questions: "Do I treat my parents with respect?" "Do I complete all my chores?" "Do I bring home good grades?" It's important that your parent/guardian sees you as a responsible young adult. If they can't trust you to clean your room every day, how can they trust you to come home at a reasonable time? Always do what they expect of you (that means no complaining!). It shows you're a good listener and that you respect their rules.

Make a game plan

Finding the courage to have a conversation with your parents can seem scary. That's why it's important to show them that you're organized and prepared. Planning out your talking points ahead of time will ease some of that stress. Be specific about what you want and give examples that show your maturity. 

Talk openly about how you're feeling

Before you have the conversation, take a deep breath, calm your nerves and get your talking points ready. Make sure you approach your parents at a reasonable time. As you tell your parents your expectations, remain calm and try to see from their point of view. Even if they seem skeptical, try to negotiate. Say something like, "If you extend my curfew an hour later, I'll help out more around the house."

Be okay with the outcome

Even if your parents don't see eye to eye with you, remain calm. Don't give up! Just because they're saying no now doesn't mean their viewpoint won't change in the future. Keep showing that you're a mature young adult, and they'll eventually notice.

Need more advice? Check out these articles:
💗 It's not a competition: How to stop comparing yourself to your siblings
💗 Easy ways to grow closer with your fam this summer
💗 How to deal with rejection

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by Nadia Payne | 9/22/2022