Tough Stuff

I wanna go back to my old school!

I need some advice on my recent move. I just moved to a new state, a new town, a new school. I like it, but I'm so depressed. I miss my old friends so much and nothing is the same here. Everyone has things to do on weekends and and I'm sitting at home crying. I'm just always so bored and sad. I've tried talking to my parents, but I'm more of a suffer-on-the-inside person.

I've also tried calling my old friends, but they're always busy and say they'll call back, but they never do. I only have one friend that I really stay in communication with, my BGF. Well, one other girl, but we rarely text, and that's it. What should I do? I just want to go back home!

Hey girl, it’s hard to move and have to start over, and I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. You shouldn't keep this all to yourself. I know you tried talking to your 'rents, but try reaching out to someone else. It’s hard for people to help you make things better if they don’t know anything’s wrong. But cheer up, sweetie. I’ve got three steps that’ll help you go from oh-so far to social star.

Talk to a guidance counselor and get involved!

I know it may be easy to keep everything in, but your guidance counselor can be much more than a ear to hear what’s up. She’s also a connector. She’ll be able to help you find out what activities are the best for you and how to get involved in your new school ASAP. Like acting? She can give you info about the school play and auditions. Way into sports? She can get you connected with the coach. Activities are the best way to get to know people. Plus, you and these girlies (and guys, too!) all have one thing in common: you love the activity you’re doing, and that’s an excellent start for a great friendship. Join multiple activities and stick with the one you love best. This is your time to find where you belong and what better time than a fresh start to define it?

Remember the old...but embrace the new, too

It's hard to think that you're "letting go" of your old pals. So...don't think of it like that! You’re not letting these friends go, you’re just adding some new ones to the mix. I know it can def be discouraging when your old besties just don’t have the time to chat. Know, however, it’s not because they don’t care about you. They do, girlie, and they always will. But for now, go for a balance between old and new pals! Stay connected and up-to-date with their lives over e-mail, Facebook, MySpace, phone calls, etc. That said, be sure their lives don’t become yours. With a fun new gang where you live, it’s time for you to branch out and make your own super fab one!

Get to know the people in your class. Give ‘em a chance. No, they’re not replacements to your old friends. They’re additions, and who couldn’t use a few more friends? Ask your ‘rents about throwing a li’l party for the people in your class or try hosting a movie night for peeps you meet in clubs or on teams. Getting the crew together can give them a chance to spend more time and recognize the amazing Y-O-U!

Plan a reunion!

Leaving one a place with lots of loved ones is hard, so talk to your parents about going back for a visit. See if you could stay at one of your old bestie’s houses over the summer. That way you’ve got something to look forward to in the future—your own li’l homecoming.

In the meantime, though? Smile, girl, and embrace the li’l charms of your second home. Get involved in school and make new friends. Talk to your guidance counselor about how to get involved and how you’re feeling. Moving is a huge adjustment, but it’s one you can make a lot of, too. Stay positive, and I promise, girl, you’ll feel home sooner than you think!

Infinite xoxo’s,
Alyssa B.

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11/24/2009 7:00:00 AM