Personality problems?

I act a different way around different people. For my family I am loud and always talking. For my theater friends I am calm and quiet, and for my middle school friends I like to be the leader.

Whenever I do something different, like be quiet around my family or talk a lot around my theater friends, they think that something is wrong with me. Lately I have been thinking that I don't know who I am. I have lost sight of what I like to do. I think that putting on different "masks" for different groups has made me lose myself.

How do I get back to my true self and stop acting like a different person around these groups of people? Please help!?

-Who Am I?

Hey girl! That sounds like it's really confusing, but don't worry. When I was younger, I used to be really shy around people at school, but more talkative around my family. It's a complicated sitch, but there are ways to help you feel more comfortable in only one skin.

First of all, stop worrying about what people think. It's a lot easier said than done, but the sooner you do, the better. Rather than stressing out about the reactions of your peers, do whatever feels natural for you. Plenty of people have multi-faceted personalities (they act a li'l different depending of diff situations) so you're totally normal.

Follow your instincts. They are the best reflection of your true personality. If you're feeling chatty around your theater buddies, then go ahead and let it out. And if you're feeling a little quieter, don't force yourself to be loud and talkative around your fam. They may ask if you're all right at first, but they will gradually accept it as your personality.

Making additional friends isn't a bad idea either! They won't have any preconceived ideas about who you are, so they won't judge you if you act differently. Do whatever you feel is right, and you'll start to get a better sense of who you really are.

Don't be afraid to let your friends and fam know what you're going through.  If they know you've been feeling a little bit lost, they'll understand and be willing to help you through the process. Just relax. The more relaxed you are, the more natural and genuine you'll be. Don't get discouraged and let your instincts guide you.

Go out an show them what you've got! Best wishes.
~Kristen Y.

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7/6/2009 7:00:00 AM