Scandalous Sistah!

I have a really good friend, but lately she has been acting kinda inappropriate. We found out our freshman orientation is not dress-coded, so she said, "I'm gonna go find my shortest shorts."

She's trying to impress guys with the way she acts, but she’s coming off as really scandalous. How can I tell her how she seems without being mean?

Hey girlie!

Eek! As much as we all love our BFFs and don’t want to hurt their feelings, sometimes the best thing you can do is to tell them something straight up. It’s not always easy, but you’re doing the right thing by looking out for your girl's rep.

There are a few diff ways you can handle this. First off, you can try hinting that her choices are totally inappro. If you two are shopping or getting ready to go out together and she pulls out a super short skirt and low-cut tank, suggest something else that’s a tad less showy. Since she's your friend, she should value your opinion. Plus, girls help each other pick out outfits all the time, so she might not even suspect that you think she's wearing some showy stuff. If you keep steering her away from scandalous styles, maybe she'll get the picture pretty quickly.

If that doesn’t work out, you can always sit her down for a chat. Tell her that she’s a gorgeous gal inside and out, but her clothes aren’t sending the right message. If she wants to get a guy’s attention, she can def get it without showing too much skin. Also, snagging a sweetie by wearing scandalous clothing can attract them for the wrong reasons...and the wrong sorts of fellas (aka total LOSERS!).

She needs to respect herself and her body. If she wants a guy, she should find one who likes her for her. Boost her self-esteem by pointing out all her awesome qualities—her rockin' voice, her awesome dance moves or the way she oh-so-easily aces a math exam. And if she’s insecure about how she’s presenting herself, offer to help her shop. Either way, you'll be boosting your girl up for WHO she is, not what she's wearing.

I hope this helps!  Best of luck!

-Kristen Y.

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9/9/2009 7:00:00 AM