What to do if your crush is more drama than dating

Are you and your S.O. constantly fighting about little things or frequently facing unnecessary drama? We feel you. Figuring out if your relationship drama is completely normal or bordering on toxicity can be incredibly difficult, but we're here to help you out. Whether you're worried about your crush deliberately causing drama or you're just tired of miscommunication, it's important to evaluate the health of your relationship. 

So, how do you know the signs of bad drama and toxicity? The best way to start is by outlining what types of drama are okay. If you and your S.O. are anything like Chuck and Blair in Gossip Girl, you probably find yourselves playing little games with each other and disagreeing on small issues like favorite movies and music. You don't have to share everything in common with your crush, but it's totally understandable to get frustrated when you both can't decide on a road trip playlist or show to binge-watch on date night.

Playful disagreements on what you like can easily be solved with a compromise, as long as your both willing to communicate and respect the other person's opinions. The most important thing is to be willing to compromise, even if it means watching their action flicks when you'd rather be peeled to a rom-com. However, if they're refusing to even consider Pitch Perfect, that could be major red flag.

If your arguments are getting deeper than just bickering about movies, it may be time to assess if this is toxic drama. Maybe your crush is getting too controlling and separating you from your friends and family, or their constantly starting fights for no apparent reason. When the arguments start to get out of hand, and you begin losing yourself in the process, these can be signs of bad drama. Sometimes it can be hard to notice when you're in love or even just crushing on someone, but it's important to stay aware of when a relationship is negatively impacting you. If your besties, or even your parents, seem concerned about your relationship being harmful, try considering if all the drama is just about getting to know each other or going way too far. 

Once it's come to a point where you're noticing a pattern where they don't want to compromise or communicate, it's time to have a serious talk with them. Relationships should all be about trust and respect, and if they keep starting drama, that's a clear sign that they don't respect you or your boundaries. It's also important to think about if you believe that this is something that can be fixed, as it's easy to look at a relationship through rose-colored glasses. 

If the disagreements escalate to the point where they are arguing with you about serious stuff, like the friends you have, or your dreams in life, consider taking a step back and reevaluating your relationship. Talk with your mom, your besties, or even just to your journal (pros and cons list, anyone?) about how this relationship is hurting and how much it's helping you. If you come to the conclusion that your bae is making you feel more 1 step forward, 3 steps back than Love Story, it might be time to break up, or at least take a break. No relationship is worth feeling hurt. 

Loving yourself, and doing what you love, should always come before any crush or relationship. Any sort of relationship (or situationship) can come with drama, but it doesn't have to hurt you. 

All GIFs via GIPHY | Slider image by Abigail Keenan on Unsplash | Top photo by Artem Kovalev on Unsplash


by Jasmine Robinson and Serena Sherwood | 8/3/2021