How to get the courage to ask out your crush

You've been eyeing your crush for a while now, but you don't have the guts to make a move yet. With the school season quickly approaching, you're about to reconnect with bae. So how do you conquer that fear of asking them out? If you find yourself needing an extra boost of confidence, consider this your guide to making your dating dream a reality.

Breathe in, breathe out

Anxiety is no joke, especially when it comes to your crush. It can fill your mind with a million thoughts and worries. But no need to feel overwhelmed: We got you covered! First, let's try a breathing technique. Inhale deeply for two seconds, then exhale for four seconds. As you breathe, visualize your "happy place." Your happy place is anywhere that calms your nerves—the beach, park or simply being around family. Anxiety can also cause your body to hold lots of tension. Relax your jaw, drop your shoulders, move your arms, legs and shake out those jittery feelings.

Give yourself a pep talk

We tend to be our biggest critics, which is why it's equally important to be our *biggest* motivators. Say these affirmations out loud to jumpstart your confidence:

"I can do anything I put my mind to."

"I can handle anything that comes my way."

"I'm awesome."

"I believe in myself."

Be sure to repeat these on a daily basis. The more you practice saying them, the more your self-esteem will increase. Say goodbye to those negative thoughts!

Be specific with your intentions

Before you approach your crush, it's important to know what exactly you want to say to them. Don't approach them with a vague statement like "Let's hang out." The last thing you want is for there to be any miscommunication. Be specific with your intentions (it shows that you want to get to know them better). Suggest a date like the movies, the homecoming dance or your school's upcoming football game. 

Find the right timing


When it comes to mustering up the courage to ask out your crush, finding the right timing and location are key. Ideally, ask when you're not in a time crunch and your surroundings aren't too hectic (rushing between chemistry and lit class = no good). But if you catch them hanging around the caf during free period, just go for it! 

Prepare a few conversation starters


If you're stuck on how to start the convo, don't worry. One of the *best* ways to take initiative is by beginning with small talk—it'll make things more comfortable between the two of you, break any awkward tension and help get the conversation flowing. Remember, conversations aren't supposed to be perfect so stay chill, natural and don't overthink it!

  • Ask about their day/how they are doing. One of the most universal ways to begin a convo, simply ask about how their day has been so far and go from there! Depending on their answer, you can find a way to relate to them or branch into another topic. 
  • Ask for advice or a favor. Asking for advice is super useful if you want to have an excuse to talk to your crush. Try asking for help with a homework question, a decision you've been contemplating or for a recommendation on what you should do/where you should go. You can also ask them to get something for you that you can't reach, to borrow something or to catch you up on anything you missed in class. 
  • Compliment them. If there's one thing that's true, everyone loves to get complimented. Whether it be on a shirt you like or their skills in an activity, your crush will remember you if you take the time to compliment them on something you noticed.
  • Find something in common. Heads up, this may require a bit of digging! If you find something in common with your crush, it'll be easy to bring up and continue talking about. After all, convos are always more fun if you're both interested in the topic. 

Once you've talked for a bit, pop the question. Bring up a relevant topic and ask if they want to join you or if they are free to do something. If you're feeling *extra* nervous to hang out one on one, you can also invite them to a double date or to spend time in a group setting. 

Be okay with any outcome


Once you've finally asked them out, be okay with a "no". Although we're hoping for it to all work out, being flexible will make you stronger as a person and more resilient. There are a ton of reasons why someone may say "no" (it doesn't mean that you're not worthy!), so trust that whatever happens happened for a reason. Being your most authentic and genuine self is what's important, and if the timing isn't right to be with them, there's nothing wrong with that. 

Need more crush advice? Check out these articles below:
💗 Here's how to have the "What are we" talk?
💗 How to stay connect with your crush this summer
💗 10 films to watch on your next movie date

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Slider: @itssissysheridan


by Nadia Payne and Madison Yee | 7/14/2022