How to tell if you're outgrowing a friendship

Your so-called best friend hasn't felt like one in the past couple of happens. As we girlies go through so many phases in life, our relationships are bound to change, too—some for the better, and some, well, not so much. Here's a word of advice: Don't panic if your friendships start to feel a little different (it's kinda inevitable).

Here are some signs that you may be outgrowing a friendship. We'll let you in on a little secret: That usually just means you're moving forward!

Floating back to surface-level convos

You know those small talks you have with your tablemates in math class? Well, if it starts to get like that with an old friend, it might be a sign that there's some connection lost. Maybe you can't talk about your crushes or sibling problems like the way you used to. Whatever it is, any forced interaction isn't serving you or them. Instead of feeling obligated to keep a connection intact, try giving each other some space to see if things go back to normal a week or two later.


You stop hanging out outside of school

Remember, it's normal to not hang out all the time because honestly, we're all busy girlies. But if both of you are hanging out with other friends or start doing completely different things outside of school (like you're hitting up the movies while your bsf is getting caught up in *lots* of drama and trouble), then it might be time to reconsider your relationship. PSA: changing phases = changing priorities = changing relationships. It's girl math. 


You both stop reaching out 

POV: It's the third text you've sent this week to follow up about grabbing a sweet treat, but then you give up completely and hope they return the effort. And silence. Let's face it—if you both stop caring enough to shoot a quick response or make an effort to reconnect, then is it really still a solid friendship? Spoiler alert: It probably just means you're outgrowing each other. 


Finding that friendship flame elsewhere

Wait, what if *you're* the one who starts to make the new friends? Maybe it's those Swifties you started bonding with or that lab partner from chemistry. Whoever they are, you just feel like you have a better time with them than your "bsf." First things first: Don't feel guilty! This is just proof that you're growing as a person and you're finding new relationships as a result of it. And sometimes, this is just the thing to help you recognize that the friendship you're holding on to simply isn't worth it anymore. 


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Top and slider image: @itsgretawilson


by Anne Chen and Laila Mayfield | 3/3/2024