My birthday is in October, but my grandmother stopped sending me birthday presents because she says I never thank her for them. My mom told me this, and it’s true but it still makes me upset. I am going to see my grandma over Thanksgiving and I’m not sure how to act.

Act nice. Being friendly to relatives is the way to go, and your grandmother will appreciate it if you try to get to know her by asking questions about her life, hobbies, even what she was like at your age. You might also say, “I’m sorry I’ve been bad about thank yous, but I loved the necklace you gave me last year. I wear the necklace you gave me last year. I wear it all the time.” And the next time she or anyone spends time and money on you, pick up a pen (or at least the phone) and tell them you appreciate the kindness.

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