"Dear Carol, my mom and dad fight a lot"
My mom and dad fight a lot. Should I just let them figure it out and stay out of it...or talk to them about how I'm affected by it?
- Parents Fighting
Dear Parents Fighting,
Ouch. I'm sure you know how common this is, especially since the past few years have been so stressful for people of all ages. Fortunately, you have more than two options. Sure, you could stay out of it, but that's hard, which is why you wrote me. And sure, you could tell them that their fighting is bumming you out, but that might just make them feel worse. How about a different approach? Tell one or both, separately or together, in a note or in person, that you're sorry they aren't getting along. Say, "I love you both and I wish I could help." Your love, expressed out loud, can really lift their spirits. And why not try to throw in a hug while you're at it? If one of them trash talks the other, say, "Mom, I don't want to hear anything about Dad, and I told Dad he can't criticize you either." Spend time with cheerful, high-energy friends, as well as relatives and grandparents. And don't forget to get enough sleep and to keep taking good care of yourself, too.
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