Dear Carol

"Dear Carol, How do I get my crush to date me?"

Dear Carol, 

I am 11, and there is a boy I've liked since second grade. My crush on him has been kind of on and off. Last year, he learned I liked him from my ex-BFF. (She told him without my permission.) He was so surprised! He said he didn't like me, but my brain didn't listen. I loved him so much, I would do anything to "get him." I asked him out...12 times. And got rejected...12 times. Skip to a year later, I see this guy, my current BFF's ex. He is really cute, and immediately I am obsessed. I told him I liked him after a week, and he didn't feel the same. Now he seems to hate me for no reason. I just want to date someone I like, but those options, well, aren't really options anymore. 

-  What Do I Do?

Dear What Do I Do?,

Slow down. If you ask someone 11 times if he likes you and he doesn't say yes, why ask again? That's a lose-lose for both of you. Seeing the writing on the wall and reading it is not giving up—it's being smart and moving on with dignity. I also question your "immediately I am obsessed." Sure, I get it, but try to stop and think before you jump. You say he "hates you for no reason." I doubt he hates you, but you made him uncomfortable. If someone you hardly knew said they liked you, you'd feel flustered, right? Ask yourself if you have a pattern of confronting crushes when instead you could strive to get to know them, start flirting and find out how they're feeling on a timeline that works for both of you. Things will go better, I promise. 

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books including Speed of Life and Ava and Pip. Follow her on Insta @carolwestonnyc and visit

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by GL | 8/9/2023