Dear Carol

"Dear Carol, My friend group refuses to make plans with me"

Dear Carol, 

I told my friends I don’t like making plans with them because whenever I ask if they’re available, they just respond “idk.” When I told them, they flipped. They said I came off strong and pushy and that I was being a jerk. They also are hypocritical. I don’t want to be their friend anymore, and now I know if I told them how I’m feeling or that they’re hypocritical, they would take it out on me.

- Friends Won't Make Plans

Dear Friends Won't Make Plans, 

Your best tactic is not to criticize your so-called friends or say they are being hypocritical. It’s—hear me out—to find new friends. I get that it’s a bummer that this crew is reluctant to make plans and, even worse, was mean about it. But instead of pushing it, read the writing on that wall and strive instead to find nicer kids who are happy to hang out with you. You can’t make someone like you, but you *can* step away from indifferent and critical people.

Carol Weston is the author of 16 books including Speed of Life, Ava and Pip and Girltalk: All the Stuff Your Sister Never Told You. Learn more at and on Instagram @carolwestonnyc.

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by GL | 10/21/2023